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Polls are for
Cool People
Ugly People
Whores
Do you enjoy being picked up?
Don't touch me.
It depends on who does it.
I'd rather sit and keep you company, thanks.
Yes.
You approach the door and say, "Who is it?" in your most grown-up voice. It is a salesman asking where your mommy is. Select
an action:
Point to the bathroom door
Say, "She's naked in the bathtub now."
Say, "Just follow me."
What do you call three blondes under a christmas tree?
ho ho ho!
a perfect chrismas
your a sexist pig
hey, im blonde
What do you like most
Fucking
Making love
Reading a book
Hardcore gangbang
What does your dark side consist of?
I could kick your ass.
I eat my young.
I'm a whiney, selfish idiot.
Are you monogamous?
I mate for life
I try my best
I'm just not serious enough
Lets face it, I'm a whore
On Election Day, what are you most likely to be doing?
Voting for my Candidate.
Working the volunteer office, getting out the vote, and driving old folks to the polls.
Vandalizing, kicking down, and stealing the campaign signs of the opposing party.
Running for Office.
Are you anti-american? If you are waving an American flag, eating McDonalds or loving President Bush, skip it, please...
Nuke them, please.
Yes, in a sarcastic dissapointed way.
To some degree from brainwashing by the media
I am neither anti or pro-american, color me neutral
Do you now how Björk is?
Yes
No
The ol' "you encounter a closed locked door- how do you get through it?" question:
Bash it down, with brute force or explosives, if necessary.
Look for an alternate route.
Pick the lock.
Knock
Finally, What do you call those people that hang around musicians?
Roadies
Groupies
Conductors
Drummers
(from The Would You Kick Me In The Balls Test:)
How good is your aim?
Poor, I'm blind as a bat
Not good enough to hit such a small target
20/20 vision
Ninja master
If you were an animal, what animal would you be?
Something strong and fast (better than you are now)
Something just like you
Something small and cute /and crushable
I have no imagination
Do you like cats?
If you hate cats and don't eat them, skip the question
Allergic
Excellent side dish
I enjoy their company
I own one or more
Overall, how has your childhood affected the rest of your life?
It has helped me become a mature, well-rounded individual.
It gave me the skills I need to succeed in life.
It's left me a little... unhinged....
I'm a serial killer.
What's in your pants?
The fury of a thousand suns!
Regular genitalia.
My wallet? Maybe some keys?
They doctors didn't know either
How often do you like to have sex?
Daily
Whenever I feel the need
often as I can
you mean we have to do that
Do you like pain?
Yes, it adds some spice to my sex-life
A little never hurt anyone!
I've never tried it
No, pain isn't nice
I go ga-ga for...
Babies and Pupies
The Pythagorean Theorum
Converse All-Star hi-tops.
White and shiny things.
If you had a rocket I'd...
Invite you in for coffee, :::wink, wink:::
Steal it, sucka.
Attach it to my rocket and make a rocket train.
Envy you for the rest of my life.
Suppose there exists an omnipotent God. This God comes to you one day and says it is essential that he become human for
the day and you take his place. At the end of the day, do you give God back his job, or remain God for some longer period
of time?
Give it back; I couldn't usurp God's position
Give God back his job; I wouldn't want it
Stay God; I'd be an awesome omnipotent ruler
Stay God; I couldn't do much worse, could I?
Relationships require compromise. Whose?
yours
theirs
Why do bad things happen to good people?
Bad things happen. People are fearful and nature is irrational. Deal with it.
With a lot of work, we could patch things up, and try to keep bad things from happening.
Evil people hurt everyone.
I hurt the weak.
Did Freud know what he was talking about?
There's no way I'd bone my mom / want a penis. That's gross.
We're all products of our dead loves.
Freud did coke and thought about his mom too much.
Freud had the right idea, but he was too pessimistic.
Scenario - Your legs are broken and a rib is piercing your lung. Clearly, you're not going to win the marathon and take
home $10,000,000.
God DAMMIT I was so close!
I'm still gonna crawl and finish the race.
Wait...how did this happen exactly?
There must be a way...
I'm Gutted...you give me?
A smack
A hug
A present
A bunch of medication
The best way to enter China without being noticed is from the...
South
North or East
West
maternity ward in Chinese hospital
Your last girlfriend:
dumped you for a guy
joined the peace corps and ran off to belize
just wasn't free-spirited enough for you
You're MacGyver and you just find out you have a son! What do you do?
Teach him how to build a sweet bong using an empty Coke bottle and duct tape.
Buy matching motorcycles and ride off into the sunset. Awww...
See if he's wearing wires. He could be the enemy.
Demand a DNA test. MacGyver never got any action and knew it.
Which of the following would be the most accurate description of Mac's most uncomfortable situation due to a specific fear?
Being mistaken for a narc when he tries to retrieve a canister filled with a deadly chemical from a plane that crashed near
opium fields in Burma. MacGyver used to have a "problem" with opium.
MacGyver has to help a plantation owner defend his land from an army of ants that threaten to destroy the land in this Brazilian
jungle. MacGyver HATES bugs.
MacGyver stumbles onto a hostage crisis at a London bank where his only method of escape is to grab one of the robber's guns
and bluff his way out. Mac loaths and fears guns.
Mac is assigned to act as a bodyguard for an animal rights activist. MacGyver has a fur fetish but wants to avoid being found
out. Weirdo.
What's the coolest MacGyver quote? (Yeah, he said these).
"You may not believe this, but there have been times when I've had a lot more fun in the backseat of a car"
"Now, technically I'm driving a stolen car, following a kidnapping...and I still haven't had my first cup of coffee."
"I call it an obstacle course. Some of the others call it MacGyverland."
"For the past seven years I have done nothing but travel around the world getting shot up, locked up, blown up ... and all
I have to show for it are a couple of empty rolls of duct tape."
Which MacGyver lesson is most important to remember?
Always dress with the latest style while remembering comfort
There's nothing duct tape won't stick to.
Even if you wear a brown leather jacket, you're not Indian Jones.
Women always fall for guys who can make things out of paperclips.
Why would anyone stay in this line of work?
To help people! No, really.
To get the ladies. Mac's a pimp and a half.
He loves being tied up on a regular basis.
MacGyver actually has no real job skills. What else would he do?
Mac realizes the woman he's partnered up with is a spy. What happens next?
He looks at her, pulls her in for a long kiss just before grabbing the secret recording device from her belt. Hellz yeah!
Gets out the duct tape. He can come up with something.
Makes his OWN secret recording device using his cufflinks, belt buckle, a tootsie roll and old retainer from high school.
Then uses it against her! Take that, bitch!
Takes off his pants.
What do you think of lesbians?
Fine everyone to there own
Disgusting!! Keep it out of my face
I did it once when I was drunk, but regretted it!
Brilliant as long as they are pretty and not diesel dykes
Would you enjoy an open relationship?
Yes, you are only young once
No, I like to stay with one partner at a time
......Only if by open you mean 3SOME!!!
... Would I enjoy stepping into a toilet!?
What is sex without love?
Pointless
SEX... DUH
Only good if the person you are with matches you sexually
Masturbatiioonn???? :S?
If I am a bunny that makes you a....
WRABBIITTT!
EWOK!
FOX/DOG!
CARROT! (hehehe)
Apeearance wise, how do you think you look?
Dog rough
A product of years of family incest
Half decent
Beautiful Darlin'
Sarcasm is...
...the lowest form of wit
...the highest form of intelligence
...i don't know actually
...useful
In the "slave trade" people were
Bought and sold for labor
Whipped
Africans
Singing spirituals
Complete this sentence as you see fit. "If the clothes make the man, then hair..."
... makes the man someone people will want to sleep with.
... completes the man.
... is especially important if the man is a nudist.
... is totally unimportant.
Have you ever done something (or someone) while drunk, and not remembered it the day after?
I have to regularly depend on others to fill me in on my nights out.
It's happened, but only a couple of times.
No, that's never happened.
When you go out, you...
Get drunk, go crazy, have a good time!
Are the friend trying to restrain the one who gets drunk, goes crazy and has a good time.
Hit the most fashionable joints I can and always keep cool.
Avoid attention and generally stick to places that are safe/familiar.
After making a comment about your dislike of Tom Cruise's latest action epic, "Maximum Extreme 2 (ME:2)" he's decided
to sue. Seems like your comments about his lack of height - and lack of size elsewhere - really got to the guy! It's already
all over the press, and you're facing a massive court case from Mr. Cruise. What do you do?
Counter-sue. No, make that a counter-counter-sue. We're going to the mat on this one.
Walk over to Cruise's residence and challenge him to fisticuffs. Let's sort this out like normal people would.
Go to court, and argue that whole freedom-of-speech thing. You were just voicing an opinion; it can't be counted as slander.
You'll more than make it up to dear Tom. Vanity Fair headline reads, "Tom and (insert your name here): make sex, not war.
Inside their erotic home movies."
Uh-oh. Some of those pictures have surfaced. Those nude shots you did when you were younger and needed the money are floating
around online, and even worse, The Daily Star has put them on their front page! Press are at your door, hoping to get a glimpse
of you. What's your course of action?
Lock myself away at home for weeks. Blanket? Check. Ice-cream? Check. Spoon? Check.
Head out there and face the world. Ignore the pictures.
Sue The Daily Star. Destroy the bastards. Get them to pulp every copy of that paper, including the ones they sold. You retain
three copies and, some years later, auction them off for charity for millions of dollars.
Take the trash out wearing nothing at all.
Quick response: which place sounds like the best destination for you?
The Land of Rainbows, Puppy Dogs and Smiles
The Land of Perpetual Shrimp
The Land of The Four-Day Weekend
The Adult Video Store
Now, quickly, the evil robots are coming! Choose a weapon to throw at them!
Banana.
Machete.
Toddler.
Water.
So, basics first. Why on earth did you take this test? (= The Homicidal Maniac Test)
To see if I'm going to be found out.
Nothing better to do.
I need advice on how to reform my murderous ways. Or at least where to get a good lawyer.
Are you going to let me do the test, or do you want a sound thrashing?
And how would you describe your financial situation at the moment?
Reach into my wallet and grab a wad.
Money is for rich people.
Will assassinate politicians for food.
Most of mine is being spent on my defense lawyer.
And how would you describe your home?
Penthouse.
Rent house.
Parent's house.
Box.
And how happy are you with your appearance?
I likes what I sees.
Content.
Mediocre.
Medusa.
How often would you say you think about being physically violent towards others just for the sake of it?
It rarely/never crosses my mind.
Sometimes. When they get really annoying.
Frequently.
All the freaking time.
How about Paris Hilton? How often have you wanted to at least trip her up on the red carpet?
It's crossed my mind.
It's crossed my mind.
It's crossed my mind.
Which of the following movie titles sounds most like something you'd go see? Since, like, I really wanna know.
Shakespeare in Love with American Beauties on a Mystic River
Anchorman: The Dodgeballs of Happy Gilmore
Saw Silence of the Seven Rings
Charlie's Fast and Furious Die Hard: Judgement Day
Are you a member of the KKK (Klu Klux Klan) or any other similar institution?
Yes (white is SO my colour)!
I have been at some point (but those hats were itchy).
No (I'm not a fan of supremacists).
KKK? What's that?
And are you physically equipped to beat a person up if you really wanted to? In other words, are you a decent fighter?
I don't know, I've never tried.
I could probably if I had to.
I've got enough skills to defend myself. I could easily use them to attack if I needed to.
I'm like Jackie Chan (minus the lame slapstick).
How would you describe your dress sense?
I'm wildly individual. I turn heads with my daring, avant-grade fashions.
I'm pretty fashionable, and keep up with the latest trends.
I'm fairly inconspicuous and stick to what's safe/comfortable.
I'm a nudist.
So, you and a friend have somehow wound up shipwrecked. Don't think about how - the point is, you're stuck and there don't
appear to be any food supplies on the island you've wound up on. There's no land in sight - it may be days, or even weeks,
until you're found. Luckily you've found a spring that will serve as a water source, but after about three days it becomes
very clear that you need to get to food. What's your course of action?
Starve. I couldn't bear trying anything else.
Wait until the friend isn't looking, then deliver a dealy blow to the back of the head. You wouldn't normally turn to cannibalism
but hey, desperate times...
Suggest to the friend that the two of you shag for a while. If someone does fly or sail by, they're more likely to stop and
look that way. If nobody comes, at least you can say you did.
Attempt to make a raft to get off of the island. You'll either find land or drown somewhere out at sea.
The are you a freak or a sheep Test (take it here if you wish) in its whole entity
1. Do you think yelling out of nowhere is not acceptable?
Yes
No
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
bah
2. is it odd to eat cheese out of somone else's mouth(this has nothing to do with anything sexual.)?
Yes
No
hell i do it all the time
sheep
3. fall in the toilet much?
Yes
No
bah. i poop in a field, with my buddy the sheep.
i live in a van. vans kick ass. sadly no toilets
4. sheeps are best used for:
idolizing(nope cant spell nuh uh)
eating
wool
friendship
5. i like to give you razzberries on your nipples. do you mind?
Yes
No
6. you find 5$ on the ground what do you do?
leave it
take it
chew on it
where'd my sheep go? baaaah
7. u think of yoga u think of:
sexy
yogurt
yoga?
sheep
8. the phone rings. you think of:
AAAAAH! phone!(scream first, then think)
sex
sheep
who is it?
9. i say sheep you think:
sex
sex(not with the sheep)
EEEEEEK(ouch)
yay! sheep!
10. leprechaun
ouch does it hurt
eeek, tiny people
fake
do they hurt my friends the sheep?
11. crusty socks:
ew
mmm
sheeeeeeeep
washing machine?
12. is this test retarded
retarded is not politically correct
No
yeah
sheep are sexy
13. you hear a noise...
hold me
sorry, my fault
are they hurting the sheep?
this paper helmet will save me
14. computers are
helpful
helpful in finding sheep porn
annoying
a scary shape
15. vagina
penis
SHEEP
murder
...your point?
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